Friday, July 28, 2006

Em Kay Crap! Read Cars Cars Cars Piece on Lincoln's naming games

This is the only Lincoln Mark ! Read Bob's latest piece on the Lincoln Follies of model names over at Cars Cars Cars ! This is getting embarassing, really. Lincoln wanted to recall the glory of earlier days by changing the names of new models to Mark Z, Mark X and Mark S. How lame was that? Is that I should say. But now instead of Mark what ever, they want it to be M K whatever. I don't know about you, but they sound like Mary Kay specials to me. I like real names for cars, not this stupid crap!
So let's see, the MKZ that's supposed to mean Mark Zephyr? Why not keep the Zephyr name, it's a classic Lincoln/Mercury name. This is a fine car, not a great car, so why the pretention of the MK? Hell they should have just gone with Versailles. Cause that's what this is a modern Versailles/Granada/Monarch.

The MKX, now as if they hadn't learned from the lawsuit, it's just too close to MDX for comfort. And what does it mean? Mark Xtera ? Mark Xtreme? Mark X ? I know it's supose to invoke some sort of offroad conotation, but it doesn't and they will never be off road anyway, so why bother? Let's call it the Mark Mom, or Mark Maid, even better let's call it Aviator! That's what the name was supposed to be anyway. Aviator was a catchy name. I liked the old Aviator, and the name fits this better than MKX.

MKS, now don't even get me started, this is just too easy to make fun of. I guess it's supposed to be Mark Sedan, but SH*T is more like it. How about Mark Subaru? The wrong car for the wrong market and a stupid name to boot. It's not that I don't think it's nice. I just don't think it's the car Lincoln needs. Hell, take this body and give it to Mercury to replace the Montego. If you needed a name for a sedan, why not Taj Mahal or Buckingham Palace? Some other royal residence, since Versailles would already be taken by the MKZ.

I'm just fed up with this crap, someone at Ford should be fired for the whole naming scheme. It's just not funny anymore, it's sad.

1 comment:

William Irving said...

Such emotion!! Such RAGE!

Let's see... North Korea has nukes, and will soon have the missles to mail them OUR way; the Muslim world STILL promises to erase Israel from the map and will soon have the nukes - courtesy of Iran - to really do it this time; what passed for peace in the Middle East has totally fallen apart; the Taliban in Afghanistan are still alive and kicking; Osama bin Laden is still on the loose; the European Union, as usual, is standing around with one of its collective thumbs up its collective ass and the other one thumbing its collective nose at us, and they are supposed to be OUR FRIENDS! (With friends like these...)

And despite "No Child Left Behind," American schoolchildren have fallen out of the top FIFTY nations in educational attainment and STILL can't bloody READ! And our leaders are idiots and right-wingnut ideologues, cheered on by Rush Limbaugh and Fox News, who are leading us swirling around the bowl and straight down the crapper in Iraq. (Talk about "giant sucking sound"!) And the Democrats are SO out to lunch that our elections have devolved to choosing between "Dumb" and "Dumber," and are as riddled with fraud and chicanery as those of any Third World toilet, so it's not as if there is any such thing as democracy in America anymore anyway.

Yet worst of all, the marketing people and product planners at Ford Motor Company are TOTALLY BRAINDEAD!

DOH!! Why so pissed off about it NOW? This is not exactly news. Ford has done a lot to improve the design and build-quality of its cars and trucks in recent years, but they STILL don't have a clue about who their customers really are and what they really want to buy.

Look what they did to the Ford Focus! In 2000, it hit the streets as a great-looking, great-handling, bleeding-edge European-designed, kick-ass small car at a great price. Sure, there were some quality issues out of the gate, but they were addressed and fixed, making it a reliable as well as very capable and stylish small car.

The European Focus has matured and developed into Ford Europe's most popular mainstream family car line, with a full choice of engine options (including a great and eco-clean turbo-diesel and a 225hp 5-cylinder direct gas injected turbo), a full choice of transmissions (including a slick 6-speed manual, 6-speed manu-matic, and CVT, available ALL-WHEEL DRIVE, available navigation systems, high-end sound and video systems, standard anti-lock brakes with traction control and electronic stability control, and available interior appointments from spartan to BMW-levels of posh.

Meanwhile, the U.S. Focus has been allowed to go to seed as they've toned down its "New Edge" styling themes, discontinued or defanged its performance models, and marketed it as a low-ball rental fleet car with drum brakes (how 20th Century!), no anti-lock brakes, traction control or side airbags unless you pay a grand-and-a-half extra, and no electronic vehicle stability control, rear side airbags or rear head restraints available at ANY price. FORGET all-wheel drive, CVT or DSG automatics. They DO give us Mazda's nice twin-cam four-cylinder motors, but STRIPPED of the variable valve timing that contributes so much to what makes these motors so sweet in the Mazda3 series.

In Ford's latest stroke of marketing genius, they have decided to put iPod connectivity in "many" of its cars! But WHICH cars? The Lincolns, Mercurys and big-ass SUVs like the Navigator and Expedition, of course. But NOT the Ford Focus. So let's see, Ford puts iPod connectivity in the vehicles that skew toward geezers who don't own iPods or even know what one is.

Meanwhile, Focus buyers, who overwhelmingly skew YOUNG - like the ones who actually own and use iPods - get bupkis! If that isn't a forehead slapper I don't know what is!

Another one is Ford's marketing of hybrid tech toward its SUVs and pickups. Like usual, Ford has snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by being the first domestic to offer hybrid technology, yet remaining totally clueless about what kind of customer is really looking for hybrids in the first place.

SUV buyers are NOT the same people as say, Toyota Prius buyers. Cars handle and perform better than SUVs, minivans are more comfortable and space-efficient, both are safer, and SUVs cousins, the pickups, are more utilitarian, and just about ANYTHING is more fuel efficient. SUVs are bought by people who don't give a rat's hind end about economy! If they did, they wouldn't buy SUVs in the first place! SUVs are a styling statement, a statement that has been very popular to be sure, but one that no one can argue rationally for choosing.

Yet Ford is pushing hybrid tech at buyers whose values are almost diametrically opposed to those of the typical hybrid customer. Moreover, the kind of vehicle a hybrid buyer might like is nowhere to be found within the Ford stable. DUHHH!!! For example, a Focus hybrid would be a really nice alternative to the Honda Civic. Or maybe a Ford FUSION hybrid to compete against the Toyota Prius? And for large families, why not a hybridized Ford Freestyle? I'm not holding my breath.

WHAT IS IT with Ford anyway? The European Ford operation seems to really have it together with not only BETTER products than we Yanks can buy, but the RIGHT PRODUCTS for their market! How did Ford get SO COMPLETELY out of touch with what AMERICAN buyers want?